They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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