oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
