At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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