Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
