I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
