My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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