"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
