I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
