when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
