That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
