I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
