You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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