I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
