Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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