Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
