Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
