I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
