Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
