Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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