I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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