wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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