Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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