You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
