I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
