When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
