He had one of those small greek statue penises
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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