I wish i was in the wii world.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
