Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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