i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
