he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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