i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
