I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i dont even know how to be here
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize