Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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