I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
