This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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