I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
