Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
