yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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