I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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