We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
