She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize