you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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