I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
