A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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