i don't like sucking hair
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize