sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
