I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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