just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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