Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You dont lie about slip and slides
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
