if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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