its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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