You're completely useless in the revolution.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
