I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize