He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
