btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
