Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize