Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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