So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
this boner is exhausting
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.