either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor