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addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Randomize
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