you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
