we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
